Thrive: Kathryn’s Story

 

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Kathryn’s Story

Kathryn’s story is a beautiful testament to the grace of Jesus Christ that washes away shame, gives us a new identity and calls us beloved. Her story is also a testament of what happens when we walk through life in community with other believers. God used the Thrive Bible Study at Cove Church to help transform her life, and does this through local Bible studies in our city every day. To God be all the glory for this powerful testimony!

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, and the list goes on. These are the lies that I believed about myself. To try to fill the void of not being good enough, in high school I began having meaningless sexual relationships. Then came the alcohol which would numb me from dealing with those same meaningless relationships.

I had grown up in a good home and we always went to church. However, I felt ashamed and hopeless due to the mistakes I had made. When I started college I continued down the same path of meaningless relationships and alcohol use. By this point I had pretty much stopped going to church, and grew apart from my family. I had lost my identity. I was a different person to everyone I knew and met, no one knew the real me. Thankfully, I met my husband in college and he helped me regain some of the confidence I had lost so many years ago.

Once married and back in my husband’s hometown, we started attending church more often. When we started having kids, I thought we needed to go even more so we could set good examples for them. One Sunday at church, the message was about stepping out of you comfort zone to grow closer to Christ.   I was pregnant with our second child and I felt the Lord called me to quit my job and stay home with our two girls.

After a few months of being home with the girls, I heard about a bible study at my church. The first day of bible study, we were asked what we would like to get out of it. My answer was to meet more stay-at-moms and to grow closer to God. Pretty generic, but wow was God listening that day! I soon realized that He had clearly paved the way for me. It was His path that led me to stay at home with my girls and it was His will for me to attend this bible study. Each week the messages were powerful and I found myself growing more interested in reading the Bible. Towards the end of the study, Katie Wilson shared her testimony and I felt like God spoke directly to me through her. She talked about things from her past that had all been erased by the blood of Christ. I needed to hear those words on that exact day. I felt like I was failing at being a good wife and a good mother. I was living with shame from my past, struggling with a dependence on alcohol, broken, and just tired.

I met with my group leader and told her that I knew I needed to follow God’s path and not my own anymore. As we prayed, I asked God into my heart. It was on that day that I laid my sins at the cross and I was washed white as snow by Christ alone! Shortly after deciding to follow God’s path, I heard Plumb’s song Lord I’m Ready Now for the first time. Her lyrics below described exactly how I felt:

Lord I’m Ready Now

I just let go

And I feel exposed

But it’s so beautiful

‘Cause this is who I am

I’ve been such a mess

But now I can’t care less

I could bleed to death

 

Oh Lord I’m ready now

All the walls are down

Time is running out

And I wanna make this count

I ran away from you

And I did what I wanted to

But I don’t wanna let you down

Oh Lord I’m ready now

Lord I’m ready now

 

I was so caught up

In who I’m not

Can you please forgive me?

Since that day, my life has completely changed. I have such a passion for serving Christ and helping others. I no longer have guilt or feel ashamed from what happened in my past, nor do I depend on alcohol to mask that shame. I am not saying that my life is perfect, nor will it ever be, but now I rely on Christ to help me overcome anything I might go through. I now strive to live a life that allows others to see God’s glory through me. I now can be myself around everyone; I no longer have to pretend to be something I’m not. I have found my identity, not alone, but in Christ.

I am in Christ, I am a NEW CREATION, the old is gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

 

 

 

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